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Saturday, December 13, 2008

An open letter to the manufacturers of Peeps brand treats

Dear Just Born, Inc.:

(ahem, excuse me)

I was so super excited when, trolling through Target, I came across these pink speckled, peppermint Peeps. I love Peeps! I love peppermint! I love Christmas stars! I love treats that are gluten-free! I love marshmallows!

I hate these.

And by hate, I mean: (plug your ears, kids) these are the stupidest excuse for a candy since the candy cigarette, which at the very least tasted good.

"Mmm! Here, honey, have a Listerine breath-strip flavored candy star!" Bleagh.

I made myself eat a whole one. I thought, These can't be bad! After all, I love Peeps! I love peppermint! I love Christmas stars! I love treats that are gluten-free! I love marshmallows! These just can't be bad! But, bite after bite, they were bad. And then, I got a real, super minty bite. And gagged on it. I would like to take this moment to point out that I have no gag reflex. None! It astounded the doctors when I was little (ask my mom!). These candies made me gag.

Then I thought, Maybe it's just me. My daughter loves peppermint candies. I'll give her one. So I did. She spit it out in the trash and ran for a drink of water. I kid you not, RAN.

Then I thought, Maybe it's just us. They're Peeps after all, and I love Peeps! I love love love Peeps! They can't be bad. So I gave one to my son. My sugar-craving, 9-year-old, I-don't-care-if-it-fell-on-the-floor-and-got-licked-by-the-dog-it's-still-candy-and-I-want-it! son.

He took a bite.
We waited.
He rolled it around on his tongue.
We waited.
He took a second bite.
We waited.

"Well!?!" we screamed.

"These are really bad," he said, and took another bite. "They kinda remind me of those little plastic things you eat to make your breath smell better."

I give up. If she won't eat them, and even he thinks they're like those breath strips, it's not just me.

BUT!!!! Please, Just Born, don't give up on the peppermint Peeps! I love Peeps! I will faithfully buy all types of Peeps except these horrible monstrosities that you have created. I'm sure it was by accident. I'm sure you've fired those responsible. I'm sure any day now that you'll issue a recall and then I will be glad that I just can't seem to bring myself to throw them out. I'm sure you'll do better next year. Right? Right!?

I am so, so disappointed in you.

Your faithful Peep lover extraordinaire,


Zen Ventures said...

Yikes! that's not good. I hope they "reformulate" their flavors.

Tiffany said...

I'm not a peeps fan, but those sound especially nasty!

I'm stopping by from SITS.

Shanda said...

Thanks for the warning...we usually love peeps around here too! Hope you had a great time out of town!

Shanda said...

Ooops...I don't think it was you going out of town now that I think about it!! Sorry! Christmas brain...I'd say too much eggnog; but I can't stand the stuff!!

vanilla said...

Wait! Poke a little hole in a star-tip, put wire globe hanger thingy through it, hang on Christmas tree. Voila! New ornament for 2008. And how many in the box?

Anonymous said...

I love anything peppermint too but fortunately for me, I hate Peeps so this is one combination I wouldn't have had the misfortune to try. I'm sorry it was so vile!

Kimberly said...

Sounds yucky! Thanks for the {very funny} warning. You saved me from possibly buying them someday!

Oh, and thanks for visiting my blog, and to answer your question, no, Mitch isn't related to Jacob. Guess it's just a crazy look-a-like thing, I had one in first grade! :o)

Have an awesome Sunday!

Lorie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lorie said...

Listerine flavored Peeps!! YUCK!

Kalei said...

That is sooo funny. I think it is so funny when you experience something grody and then you say to some innocent by-stander "smell this", "It smells really bad" or "taste this, Cause it is really gross" I am totally a gagger, so I would not have excepted your offer....but it is funny to see the others make that attempt.... =) rolling on the ground I laughed out loud. Hey, thanks for checking out my bumm the other day, I am doing a giveaway, You should check it out!

Janna said...

Thanks for the heads up about the peeps! I love those things but I will steer clear of them. Thanks for stopping by!

Meaghan said...

thanks for the comment! did you mean that you didn't like the peeps? jk ;-) i can't wait to read more about the gluten free stuff!

The Acting Mom said...

Thanks for stopping by!

I usually don't get sucked into ready people's posts, but yours was hilarious! Thanks for sharing your experience with the peep pepermin star things!

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